30 Day Baby Steps

Tonight, I went back to level 1. It’s been (unfortunately) days since I worked out and I figured I probably needed a refresher course in Jillybean’s personal awy of tortune.

‘Probably’ doesn’t even begin to describe tonight.

It was as bad as my first two days of level 2. It was mind numbing. I couldn’t fathom how I did so well when I first started. Granted, I sunk down lower in my squats and lunged a bit deeper tonight, but still. This was brutality at its finest.

Now, I do believe that the fact that I haven’t worked out in a while is a factor in my hot, sweaty mess that is me. But maybe there’s something to switching up the workout levels. When I was in my day 6-7-8, level 1 felt like nothing. And it’s a good thing I’m blogging this because I can go back and check myself. I had more body pain before. Now, it’s not so much body pain as I can’t seem to stop my heart from pounding in my ears. I can’t stop the exhaustion from creeping up in the middle of my workout. My endurance, shockingly, is shot. What’s going on with me? What’s going on with my body? Tonight made me feel like I have made absolutely no progress and that’s frustrating.

I know February is coming up. This means another month long goal (I know what you’re saying…”What does she mean another month? She’s not even through the first one!” Shut it. At least I’m trying.). February is pretty simple in theory. I’m a Coca-Cola junkie. I’m addicted to sweet tea. If I could have a IV of coffee, I would. These drinks are delicious and a godsend. I love them, I love them, I love them. February is the month where I don’t drink any of it. Not a drop. I stick to water and the post workout chocolate milk (which is ONLY after a workout). This is going to be interesting.

You may have also noticed (or not) that I have a new book listed. It’s Hugh Laurie’s (yes, THAT Hugh Laurie from House) book, The Gun Seller. I keep trying to read it, but something new always gets and keeps my attention. This is my chance to finally get through the whole thing. It’s not technically my March book since I read two books in January, but you get my point.

As you might have noticed, there hasn’t been a day 15 yet. Unfortunately, there’s been no time. I’ve had early morning appointments this week and errands to run in the evenings so you can imagine that, by the time I get home, I need to eat and then go to sleep. And that’s what has been going on. I’m not trying to make excuses even though it would be easy to. The truth of the matter is is that there are things that I’m changing in my life and things that are changing whether or not I want them to.

I am not abandoning the working out. In fact, as we enter February, posts concerning the 30DS will still be titled as January. It’s a January goal that, while I’m not reaching it in January, is very much a month long. The workout is incredibly important to me too. When I have someone tell me that it’s obvious I’m working out, it makes me feel good and want to keep going. I will keep going. I might even splurge a little bit with my tax refund and get something awesomely rad that will help keep me working muscles. I won’t say what yet, but I’m excited at the possibility.

Like the new look? I do. Also, I added the movies page. DO NOT JUDGE ME ON SOME OF THOSE. Some I have seen snippets of; some not at all. Sad part is is that there are movies that I SHOULD HAVE seen already. I know. I’m sorry. I am a horrible former film and video minor.

I worked out earlier this morning before errands and other activities of the day but didn’t get a chance to blog.

Today’s workout was much better that Day 13′s in that I actually finished it. Level 2 is kicking my butt harder than level 1 did and it’s a lot to take. I’m still sticking with Anita, my beginner move buddy, and every so often I’m pushing myself to Natalie’s level. The pain that I’m in while I’m doing the workout is fleeting physically–I’m fine as soon as the workout is over. Mentally, it’s sticking with me.

As odd as it may sound, I feel like I’ve hit some sort of wall. My previously lazy, compromising ways are creeping back, knocking on the back door of my mind with flowers and chocolates. It’s whispering through the door that I don’t HAVE to workout tonight, tomorrow would be better. It’s whispering that it’s okay to take a night off, you don’t want to hurt your leg any more that it already is. I know this is making me sound horribly schizo, but it’s that big hurdle that, previously, I’ve never been able to overcome. And I know–it’s just working out and I’m being way too dramatic about this, but it’s become more than working out. It’s become about my health and sanity and wanting to make myself better.

I can see why Weight Watchers has meetings. Working out with a buddy would help tremendously. This blog has become my Weight Watchers meeting only it’s free.

I’m going to continue on with level 2, but possibly alternate level 1 and level 2 days. Don’t get me started on Level 3. I’m too terrified to even WATCH that workout. But I’m going to continue. I HAVE to.

Wish me luck. (And, hey, at least my book reading is going well. )

That’s what it felt like tonight.

Last night was a GOOD workout. Tonight, not so much.

I don’t think dinner helped AT ALL with how tonight turned out, but this was the first night I couldn’t get past circuit 3 of any of the workouts. Seriously. First night. I blame dinner. It was grossly unhealthy.

I need to recover from this physically and psychologically. Sorry guys…

The last workout must have been a fluke. Seriously.

Tonight, when I worked out, I was hearing my pounding heartbeat in my ears. It was unbearably warm. I skipped my post workout chocolate milk and went straight into the shower. It was that intense. I still was able to get through the workout with incredible endurance, but holy moly this was different. Especially for my legs.

My legs have never experienced this much pain and suffering. I’m being honest. It’s not that I’m doing something wrong…they’re just not used to working out for over week long periods. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

Yesterday, I went to Oakland Cemetery and walked around, taking pictures of some of the tour stops I seem to take for granted in my photo taking and some stops that are off the beaten path. In trying to get various angles, I would squat down. And, man, when I got back up…holycrippitycrapOW. My ankle that had some pain in it on the last workout? Gone, replaced by the new pain experienced in my calves. Tonight, post workout cleaning stuff up off the ground? That HURT.

I’m still pushing through, still trying to find the motivation to keep working out. It’s there, but general laziness kicks in and man, oh man…what I wouldn’t give to sit on the couch and watch oodles of TV that will rot my brain. Man. But I will not go quietly into the night! I will not vanish without a fight! I’m going to live on! I’m going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

Wait. That’s from Independence Day. Never mind. (But I do LOVE that speech.)

*On another note, I want to say a very special congratulations to my friends Jennifer and Danny for getting engaged. I’m incredibly excited for them, wish them all the best and can’t wait to see them again SOON.

Yeah, I haven’t blogged in a while because I haven’t worked out the past two days. Things had been going on and my mind just wasn’t on working out. It probably should’ve been to deal with the copious amounts of stress that’s been going on (both good and bad, don’t worry), but it didn’t rank very high on my to do list. There have been a few sobering realizations about myself that I’ve experienced recently and needless to say, I worked out tonight. Actually, I just finished. I’m hot, I’m tired, my face looks like a tomato, but something interesting happened while I was working out.

I was getting through it WAY easier than I did on day 9.

At first, I chalked it up to the fact that the last time I took a day long break from working out, my endurance was high through the first half of circuit one. Then I felt the pressure. But tonight, it was a whole new animal. I was getting through it all. Only when I got to the last ab MINUTE of the last circuit did my shoulders tell me ENOUGH. Even though my shoulders hate me, this was a whole new beast that I wasn’t ready for. I was ready for collapse halfway through the second circuit. It didn’t happen. This was a workout that shocked me and made me happy and nervous at the same time. Yes, I said nervous…wouldn’t you be if you got through level 2 of ANY of Jillybean’s workouts and didn’t want to stop in pain?

However, this was the most interesting development that I had tonight…when I went into my leg stretch by grabbing my right ankle, there was pain. Not like I stretched, but my ankle DID NOT want to be in my hand. It was odd since my ankle isn’t hurting, but I’ll be keeping an eye on it over the next few days.

Hopefully I’ll keep with the working out. I just need to stay focused and keep doing what I’m doing.

I thought level 1 was bad. Level 2 is MUCH WORSE.

At one point, Jillybean talked about how she wants us to feel like we’re going to die. She really does. I’m not kidding. Well, congratulations Jillybean…I made it there in the third circuit. This was the first time (as we were going into plank jacks…no, I’m not kidding) that I just hung my head, knelt down on the floor and took a long breather. Level 1 is a cakewalk compared to level 2.

Immediately, I felt a difference. I felt like I was working different muscles that hadn’t been worked in level 1 (or maybe I just didn’t do level 1 to the best of my abilities but I refuse to believe that). There felt like there was more of an emphasis on the upper body–back and arms. It must have been all those plank moves. I fought my way through as hard as I could. I stuck with Anita (She-Whose-Abs-I-Covet) since she was still doing the beginner moves, but I could feel myself sinking lower into the squats and jumping a little higher. I sweated more (I know, ew, gross), I stopped to drink more water…this was painful. This was brutal. But it’s for the best. I know that as I go through level 2 and continue to do it, I’ll come out much stronger (or dead of a heart attack, I’m not sure).

Unfortunately, the workout has also clouded my ability to form lines of words that makes sentences and so on and so forth. I’m going to drink my chocolate milk, shower and go to bed. Good night.

**Big huge favor to all those reading. Please, if you can, text Haiti to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross. The money gets attached to your cell phone bill and there are so many people in desperate need of help. Here’s one story that’s absolutely heartbreaking and near and dear to my heart since it involves Pittsburghers and children.**

I’m not just saying that because I didn’t workout tonight. I’m saying it because it’s true. Granted, I could’ve woken up earlier, but that’s just not in my character.

Today, I was at work and then I went out after work with my friends Katie and Alexis. A good time was had and by the time I left my two lovely friends, it was nearing 10:00. And who wants their upstairs neighbor doing jumping jacks at that time?

Even without going out to see friends, it’s tough to workout sometimes. When I get home from work, which could range from 5:30 to 7:00 sometimes depending on traffic, I make dinner and then eat. Then, I wait for the food to digest and it just seems like the workout keeps getting further pushed back. I’m not trying to make excuses; that’s how it is in my life. I need to find a good balance where I can workout and still have a normal life with friends.

Tonight was much needed. I’m absolutely horrible about calling up friends to hang out and I rarely get to see them. Alexis had reached out and Katie and I answered the call so for that, I’m grateful to Alexis and to Katie for such a fantastic night. It was simply hanging out, talking and spending some time to de-stress. I need more of that in my life. I need to see my friends more. I know that doing that can make me healthier mentally and socially. I think that smells like a possible goal for this year. I hope to see them again soon.

When you do enough jumping jacks, your body doesn’t feel like your body. Your limbs seem to separate from you like they did Jason Schwartzman in I Heart Huckabees (bonus points if you’ve seen the movie because I know a whopping five other people that did and it’s only because I saw it with them). When I do jumping jacks, my legs feel separated like they just filed for divorce from me and we’re entering some contentious settlement that won’t end well. My right arm seems to stretch out farther than my left and it has to be impossible. Until I stretch my arms out in front of me (like I just did) and see about a half an inch of extra right arm. Huh. That explains a lot.

After my revelation on Friday that I did want to workout and did with some yoga, I spent Saturday resting my calf. It was much needed. When I approached day 7 Sunday, my leg didn’t give me as much tension as it had. The workout had gone well enough. My endurance still isn’t enough to get through the workout without a break though. Not that this is a bad thing or that I expect it after only a week of working out, but I’m simply saying. It’s a tough workout.

Today, my day 8, was supposed to be the day I moved on to Level 2. Um…yeah. That didn’t happen. Not because I didn’t want to though. It was more along the lines of I lost track of my days. I got halfway through my level 1 when I realized that I really did want to try level 2 today. Crap. Level 2 will just have to happen tomorrow when I finally have to try and do what every busy person does–fit it in to my packed schedule. When I get off from work, I just usually come home and workout. But tomorrow, I’m going to have drinks with the lovely Katie and Alexis so working out is going to be pushed back a bit. I haven’t quite hit that point that I’m used to–where I usually bargain with myself and end up ending my good track record of doing the thing I need to do–so I’m happy.

On the book front, I am happy to say I finished my January book of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. It was a great read to ease into the year. A collection of short stories, it was enough to keep my interest and want to get through a story each night. My February book, which I can safely say I can move on to, is The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. He’s contributed before to mental_floss and he’s entertaining to read but I have never read a book of his. I had seen it about a year ago and wanted desperately to read it but hadn’t gotten it until now. I’m really excited about this one.

I’m going to Antico Pizza today for lunch with one of my favorite doughnut makers so I need to get going. Have fun today everyone!

I like those kind of head fakes.

Actually, I didn’t have the intention of blogging today. But something interesting happened and I couldn’t ignore it. It’s something that has never really happened with the same urgency before and I wanted to share it with all of you.

I WANTED to workout.

Before, there’s been a slight tug of “hmm, maybe I should workout.” But this evening, as I was watching Family Guy, it was boring just sitting there watching TV. I got up and started doing the Jillybean warm up. I didn’t do the 30DS because of my calf, but I wanted to. Instead, I went ahead and did what I’ve been talking about doing since the first day: Yoga.

I own Wii Fit and they have yoga positions on it. I haven’t done Wii Fit in ages (214 days to be exact) so when I pulled out the balance board, I’ll admit it, it was a little dusty. My Wii Fit age was a bit of a slap in the face (35?!) but I chalk that up to the fact that if you do their balance exercises consistently enough, you can cheat the system. I hadn’t and was all over the place. But once I got into the groove of the yoga exercises, my balance and posture had improved DRAMATICALLY. I was doing yoga exercises that had been difficult for me before with moderate ease. As I was doing them, I realized what I need to improve on myself to improve the impact of the workout. I did 20 minutes and called it quits. That’s the problem with Wii Fit. After a while, you just get bored with it. Jillybean doesn’t ALLOW you to get bored.

I felt really proud of myself today. It was a good day.

It was also a good day for two reasons. One is that Billy has registered 30daybabysteps.com for me. Instead of pushing out the WordPress address, I have a domain for the blog now. Exciting stuff.

Two is that I had a very special guest drop by my blog. Michelle Norris, from Brown Eyed Baker, had a giveaway yesterday in which all you had to do was comment what your new year’s resolution was and you could win a digital scale. Wanting one of those for a while now, I commented on what I was doing and linked to my blog. I was extremely pleased to see that she emailed me today with such kind words about my idea and blog. She has an incredible site with loads of delicious goodies so check her out (and I’m not just saying this because she’s an awesome Burgher like me)! Some of you may not know this, but I work part time as a baker for a caterer so she has given me a lot of great recipes to try out. This whole part time baking thing may also be my downfall too with the eating healthy thing, but we’ll see.

Time for some popcorn and movie. Awesome.